The Beggar of Forgiveness

THE BEGGAR OF FORGIVENESS

The Beggar of Forgiveness is the kind of person who creeps you out when you see them coming your way. It's kind of like a smelly, dirty homeless guy making his way straight at you. Not good.

Or is it?

The Beggar of Forgiveness represents a way of living that seems to be lost and tone deaf in the constant ear noise of social media, the high-pressure steam whistles of work and home, and the 12-round boxing matches of working harder for less and less. That's because The Beggar of Forgiveness is all about for-giving. Not so much about the Fallacy of Taking and Forgetting.

The Beggar of Forgiveness disputes the so-called wise saying, "Give and then you will receive." 

He believes, instead, in "Give". Pretty simple.

Since he is a poor beggar, no one sees that he has anything of value worth 'taking' - so, he pretty much walks down the streets ignored and unacknowledged. Many people claim that's the way it should be for a beggar, as they scurry by in their shiny clothes of "I'm Incredibly Worthy, Unlike You".

For a while he tried an obvious strategy, pointing to the sun and saying, "It's perfectly natural to give. That's all the sun does. It simply gives. It never takes. And look at the results."

But that statement got him in trouble with many in the spiritual crowd, who were certain he was advocating sun worship, rather than harvesting sinners for their side of the street. 

So his Beggars License was stamped with a 'Cease and Desist' order, which had him wondering if it was a recommendation to cease from giving or to desist from pointing out that the sun exists.

The Out-of-Context Nun of Displacement

THE OUT-OF-CONTEXT NUN OF DISPLACEMENT

Every once in while we encounter someone, including ourself, who simply doesn't fit in anywhere. It's not so much the clothes, in this case a nun's various habits, but far more the situations. A piccolo player pretty much doesn't have a place in a rock band. No matter how hard she tries.

And, one of the main problems, in a situation like this, are all of the ready-made tailors, who are quick to suggest we step into the Fitting Room of Really Somethingness for some tailoring and adjusting.

"You will look and feel great when we get done fitting you, ma'am," the tailor exclaims with chirpiness.  "You just need to do this or that, and you will be like all the rest of us! Happy as a bird!" Birds, of course, have all sorts of challenges in life, but that seems inappropriate to mention when staring into The Mirror of the Chirpy Tailor. But the Nun is thinking that.

The Out-of-Context Nun of Displacement simply sighs at the sight in the mirror. The makeover doesn't fit. Never does. But then again, this is her destiny.

The reason it is her destiny, forever dissatisfied with herself and her place in the world, is simple: the world is often an entirely dissatisfying place. So she is being entirely true to her nature. And to Nature.

But this can be excruciatingly challenging, particularly when she looks around and sees so many people fulfilled by family or careers, happy and bubbly, all full of 'Zip a dee doo dah'. Maybe they've all drank the Kool-Aid, she wonders. But what if they haven't? Or have?

The Out-of-Context Nun of Displacement often finds her self living in a cell of solitary confinement which, for her, is not necessarily always beneficial. Thus, joining a "Holy Order of Becoming a Little More, Rather than Less" can bring her closer to the world of satisfaction. 

That's because The Monastery of Nothingness provides free weekly hayrides into the Nothingness, where all is well and The Out-of-Context Nun of Displacement finds herself -not necessarily for the first time.

The Scholarly Nun of Creeds

THE SCHOLARLY NUN OF CREEDS

Deep within the academic branch of The Monastery of Nothingness is an unrenowned tributary of considerable influence within the Order. Like a good rug, good academics tie many of our monastic rooms together. Thus and therefore, an essential woman of letters is The Scholarly Nun of Creeds.

The Scholarly Nun of Creeds is a woman of profundity. Her role is to navigate the boggy, oozing morass of 'belief', all the while manifesting The Holy Ground of Neutrality.  

Belief is a fickle mistress, demanding utter loyalty, even in the face of overwhelming odds to the contrary. The Scholarly Nun of Creeds doesn't dispute belief. She recognizes its existence, and acknowledges the passion that accompanies it. 

But she is vigilant and patient, understanding the obligatory nature of the slavery of belief. Belief can only be communicated within its own language, and The Scholarly Nun of Creeds is a master linguist.

An advanced student of Comparative Beliefs and Foregone Conclusions, The Scholarly Nun of Creeds fills a vital role in the Necessary Room of Flushed Suppositions.

The Tour Guide of Nothingness

THE TOUR GUIDE OF NOTHINGNESS

A Tour Guide of Nothingness is like a concierge of the Everything. They are the discreet, behind-the-scenes fixers, there to make your stay comfortable in the luxury hotel of a better way of living.

Their manners and personalities are relaxed and approachable. Their training is impeccable. They have a sense and a knack for saying and doing the right thing at the right time. They "get it" every time, except for the occasional unfortunate mishap.

They get a bit confused about why anyone would want to stay in a sewer when they have the free choice of a beautiful hotel. But, being excellent concierges, they politely shrug their shoulders and respect the wishes of any guest or visitor.

Reservations aside, The Tour Guide of Nothingness can share their experience of the Nothingness in a manner similar to describing the five star luxury treatment found in the world's best resorts and spas. It makes you go, "Yessss."

Coffee-table travel books, strewn about the Everything, can't begin to convey what The Tour Guide of Nothingness can delightfully describe. It's like putting on 3D holographic lenses. An immersive View-Master love-in.

At this point, naturally, most guests forget to inquire how The Tour Guide of Nothingness makes money. They often don't, for reasons just cited.

Many travelers have come to believe that the most valuable destination of all should be utterly free, and that all guides, managers, drivers, monks, nuns and such should be full-time, unpaid volunteers. After all, if it's so great it should be free. Hence the term 'freeWay'.

Of course, this kind of thinking explains why the narrow path into the Everything, which journeys through the Nothingness, isn't a twelve lane super highway: Construction workers insist on getting paid.

The Scribe of Sugarcoating

THE SCRIBE OF SUGARCOATING

The Scribe of Sugarcoating has become something of a lost skill.

Sugarcoating is the frosting on the cake of insincerity. And there are plenty of people championing the spit-shine of shallow compliments, including showing off countless trophies of meaningless understandings and library stacks of accomplishments.

But here's where the art comes in: The Scribe of Sugarcoating plays into this, actually sailing along with the prevailing wind of shallow chest thumping and high five shoulder bumps.

The Scribe's work involves relentlessly advocating nonsense. It's a bait and switch technique designed to wear you down. Full of nonsensical attaboys, designed to draw you in with tireless affirmations, it ultimately leaves you exhausted, doubting your own ridiculous assumptions.

The essential strategy is that when people finally collapse from the overwhelming lies, assumptions  and half truths, they awaken in The Monastery of Nothingness.

Of course, the genius of the strategy is that even if it is revealed, no one dares challenge it. It's an Emperor's New Clothes kind of thing.

The Scribe of Sugarcoating is typically a student in the monastery's School of Self Defense, a warrior of self-awareness and consciousness. Dedicated to the long-game strategy, these warriors are rigorously trained to become impervious to succumbing to the sweet taste of self deception. They can stare saccharine in the eyes, and walk away with no regrets.

Oh, and if one day you happen to awaken in The Monastery of Nothingness, don't panic. You'll be fine. We have monks and nuns (tour guides, actually) on hand to help you.

The Nun of That

THE NUN OF THAT

This is a very sensitive position within the Order. It's sensitive because it requires a delicate touch.

Monastics and non-monastics around the world, both living and dead, are often quick to declare something right or wrong. Particularly when someone else is wrong. It just feels so good to vanquish our enemies - once again flexing our superior, smart and amazing awesomeness.

In issues of right and wrong, and in times of 'freedom of expression' and particularly of judgment, opinions fly through the air like angry swarms of mosquitoes. The Nun of That is a person whose role is to help stop that. She eradicates the itchy bites of judgment.

The Nun of That, however, is cast a tough hand: she has to help prevent judgment - without judging. She has to help neutralize the world of right and wrong - without accusing others of being right or wrong. Or of being smugly self-righteous in her own secret thoughts. Not easy.

She's a rare find, a high-wire acrobat of the eternal. Her nunly one-room cottage resides quietly between the forest and the field, sitting in the center of a still pond. It's a fine line and delicate balance - living in the vast, unknown world that lies between right and wrong.

So, the Nun of That is also about More of This.