The Beggar of Forgiveness

THE BEGGAR OF FORGIVENESS

The Beggar of Forgiveness is the kind of person who creeps you out when you see them coming your way. It's kind of like a smelly, dirty homeless guy making his way straight at you. Not good.

Or is it?

The Beggar of Forgiveness represents a way of living that seems to be lost and tone deaf in the constant ear noise of social media, the high-pressure steam whistles of work and home, and the 12-round boxing matches of working harder for less and less. That's because The Beggar of Forgiveness is all about for-giving. Not so much about the Fallacy of Taking and Forgetting.

The Beggar of Forgiveness disputes the so-called wise saying, "Give and then you will receive." 

He believes, instead, in "Give". Pretty simple.

Since he is a poor beggar, no one sees that he has anything of value worth 'taking' - so, he pretty much walks down the streets ignored and unacknowledged. Many people claim that's the way it should be for a beggar, as they scurry by in their shiny clothes of "I'm Incredibly Worthy, Unlike You".

For a while he tried an obvious strategy, pointing to the sun and saying, "It's perfectly natural to give. That's all the sun does. It simply gives. It never takes. And look at the results."

But that statement got him in trouble with many in the spiritual crowd, who were certain he was advocating sun worship, rather than harvesting sinners for their side of the street. 

So his Beggars License was stamped with a 'Cease and Desist' order, which had him wondering if it was a recommendation to cease from giving or to desist from pointing out that the sun exists.

The Out-of-Context Nun of Displacement

THE OUT-OF-CONTEXT NUN OF DISPLACEMENT

Every once in while we encounter someone, including ourself, who simply doesn't fit in anywhere. It's not so much the clothes, in this case a nun's various habits, but far more the situations. A piccolo player pretty much doesn't have a place in a rock band. No matter how hard she tries.

And, one of the main problems, in a situation like this, are all of the ready-made tailors, who are quick to suggest we step into the Fitting Room of Really Somethingness for some tailoring and adjusting.

"You will look and feel great when we get done fitting you, ma'am," the tailor exclaims with chirpiness.  "You just need to do this or that, and you will be like all the rest of us! Happy as a bird!" Birds, of course, have all sorts of challenges in life, but that seems inappropriate to mention when staring into The Mirror of the Chirpy Tailor. But the Nun is thinking that.

The Out-of-Context Nun of Displacement simply sighs at the sight in the mirror. The makeover doesn't fit. Never does. But then again, this is her destiny.

The reason it is her destiny, forever dissatisfied with herself and her place in the world, is simple: the world is often an entirely dissatisfying place. So she is being entirely true to her nature. And to Nature.

But this can be excruciatingly challenging, particularly when she looks around and sees so many people fulfilled by family or careers, happy and bubbly, all full of 'Zip a dee doo dah'. Maybe they've all drank the Kool-Aid, she wonders. But what if they haven't? Or have?

The Out-of-Context Nun of Displacement often finds her self living in a cell of solitary confinement which, for her, is not necessarily always beneficial. Thus, joining a "Holy Order of Becoming a Little More, Rather than Less" can bring her closer to the world of satisfaction. 

That's because The Monastery of Nothingness provides free weekly hayrides into the Nothingness, where all is well and The Out-of-Context Nun of Displacement finds herself -not necessarily for the first time.

My friend Retlaw Kram

Retlaw Kram was quietly smug. After all, he was hot. At least that’s what he had been told. Yep, tropical, he thought. Pretty darn cool. Well, actually pretty darn hot, he chuckled; steaming, some might say. 

I like that, thought Kram. Hot as a lightning bolt, all rolled up into a Mexican burrito, covered in five-alarm fire sauce, chased down by a cup of steaming hot Columbian coffee, and topped off by a double-shot of Tequila.

Sizzling. That was another thing he had been told. He was sizzling. Hot and sizzling. Oh yeah. 

It had taken quite a long time to get there. Years actually. And that’s not even talking about all the jungle treks and climbs through the mountains. Dead ends, followed by hope. 

Oh, and the sacrifices before the trip, the saving of all that money to finance a three year sabbatical traveling through Asia, looking for the secrets. How can it get better? He had found the inner secrets. Five star spirituality, baby.

His wise, old teacher had told him, “Mr. Kram, you are hot. How do they say in America? Sizzling?” And the old teacher had laughed, very loud. Too loud.

And the other disciples were quiet, avoiding him. Wouldn't even look him in the eyes.

Strange, thought Retlaw. Oh well, we all have our burdens to bear. He found himself smiling and looking down at his feet. No awkwardness here.

It was a long flight back to the States, but it seemed short. Retlaw was on a high. Unstoppable.

His book 'Un-BE-lievable' became an instant bestseller. Suddenly he was a celebrity. Everyone was clamoring for a piece of him. "Tell us how to do it", they exclaimed! Even Oprah.

Smiling and signing autographs, Kram promised more in his second book, which was an even bigger smash hit followed by two more bestsellers. By now he had millions of dollars, and had just opened his multi-million dollar spiritual study center.

“Tell us how to do it,” they begged. "You've experienced the inner secrets. Unbelievable! Share it!"

Kram referred them to the sprawling study center, with its wide variety of courses and seminars. He had over fifty people on staff. Fawning pilgrims flocked there by the hundreds, every weekend, with some staying for months at the newly opened meditation cabins.

Money breeds success, or so the saying goes. Kram’s spiritual center was soon hosting other world famous spiritual teachers and speakers. He was hot, still sizzling. And the money kept rolling in. Amazing.

It wasn’t long before no one was really asking Kram to teach them how to do it. He was too busy, and it was nearly impossible to get even a few minutes of his time.

His center continued to grow in popularity, and plans were drawn up to expand the concept around the world. And so it went. All very successful. 

Yes, Kram was hot. He was sizzling. Best selling author. World wide acclaim. Spiritual centers all around the world. A great spiritual leader.

And every night, in his dreams, he would hear the old master laughing, and see eyes looking everywhere but into his.

[--MW, November 14, 2005]

The Thinking Man's Guru

The Thinking Man’s Guru

The order to shut down the Admiralty came quietly. Within moments shock waves were reverberating throughout the corridors of Old Main, right on down to Corporal Effects' office, who promptly picked up the intercom.

“Sorry for the interruption sir, but I thought perhaps the General should know the Admiralty is being powered down.”

“Who the hell gave the order to shut down the Admiralty?” barked General Karma.

“That would be the TMG, sir,” replied the corporal, who couldn’t help but notice he was inexplicably beginning to perspire.

“Good God,” winced the General, trying to ignore the sudden burning in his chest. He bustled out the door, muttering something under his breath about those damn civilians, and desperately wondering if he would live another day.

_____________________

Over in the Power Plant, several thousand alarms erupted simultaneously. Quarterlove, the lone engineer, bolted out of his chair. While he had trained for the worst, no one ever said it would actually happen.

The Power Plant housed all the main transformers and substations, feeding power out to the fleet and sustaining operations in every ocean under their domain. The plant had plenty of redundancy, but standard operating procedures did not account for shutting everything down simultaneously, including all redundancy.

Quarterlove dashed over to the policy manual, nervously flipping pages in search of Subsection Z, 43.1 “What to Do When the Big Switch is Finally Thrown.” It didn’t have much to say since it was only one page long. The contents contained a short article, seemingly out of context, extolling the virtues of not thinking so much, and ending with the innocuous tag-line, “Thinking too much will get you in the end.”

_____________________

Out at sea, Captain Crossburn felt a universe removed from Old Main. He had been keeping his little piece of the ocean pretty steady for a very long time - ensuring 'the everything' remained calm and stable - but occasionally found himself lapsing into reflective daydreams, wondering if the action wasn't a bit more exciting elsewhere. That was all before Lieutenant Craven burst onto the bridge.

“Sir, we have observed a major power failure wave heading our way. It’s off the charts.” She was looking out of the windows, horrified. This could only mean one thing.

Crossburn raised one eyebrow ever so slightly as turned up from his charts, just in time to see Craven’s shocked face. A moment later the wave hit, and everything stopped existing.

_____________________

Would you care for some hot tea, sir?” the butler respectfully asked the TMG.

“Ah yes, Clearity, that would be perfect,” replied the thinking man’s guru softly, as he reached for the steaming cup.

“Would the guru be requiring anything else at the moment, sir?”

“No, no thank you,” replied the old man as he took a satisfying sip, faintly noticing Clearity silently backing out of the room.

It will be nice to take some time off for a while, he thought as he reached for the phone to call his old friend Z, head of the Consciousness Bureau.

Z would be... well, 'pleased' was not an apt choice of words. The inevitable decision had been put off for a long time. Once made, it became a matter-of-fact procedure. However, the effects were disturbing, what with having to build a new model human, and having to retool the 'Creation Program' with its infinite subroutines. Rebooting the program was always a very big deal.

But, for now anyway, his job was done - all the thinking men were dead.

[~ MW, 07 Oct 06]

The Art of Redirection

THE ART OF REDIRECTION
Koans & Fables

There was once a beautiful young girl, whose heart was soft and pure sweetness. When she breathed, nature smiled. Her name was Yin Li.

Sometimes she would walk barefoot, stepping gingerly because her feet were sensitive. In fact, her heart was soft like the tender soles of her feet – it felt every breath and movement, including all the thoughts of those around her.

The things she could sense and feel were extraordinary and exquisite. But they could also be painful and upsetting. In time, the hidden thoughts and harsh words of her fellow villagers caught up with her, and the bruising and pain on her delicate heart caused her to fall critically ill.

She slowly faded from life, lying alone in her hut until one day an old master happened by and stuck his head in the door.

Upon seeing her condition he inquired as to what she planned to do about it.

In her weakened state she could barely respond, but finally managed to whisper that there was nothing to do, all that could be done had already been done.

“Then what are you lying around waiting for?” he inquired.

Confused by his question, she could only stammer, “Nothing.”

“Then if you are lying around waiting for nothing, why are you so preoccupied with anything at all? You’re making no sense whatsoever,” he declared, shaking his head.

“You are trapped in softness, the softness of denial," he stated. 

"Thoughts are like arrows. They shoot out of a person’s mind, or mouth, seeking a target. Once they are launched, it is inevitable that they fall back to the earth. You are made of earth and dirt, a soft  and natural target for an arrow. But that is not all that you are made of. You are denying three fourths of your nature. Why not become fire, or wind or water? Is that so far beyond your ability to imagine?”

“But I feel life so deeply,” she whispered. “How can I ever change?”

“You feel life so deeply because each arrow and every thought has a point. Often it is sharp and penetrating. Turn yourself into fire. Arrows burn in the fire; it consumes them, turning them into ash. Become water. Arrows harmlessly penetrate water, because water first yields and then drowns and weakens even the sharpest and fastest of arrows.  Whisper or roar like the wind. Wind diverts the arrow’s path, stepping aside as it effortlessly redirects each barb, changing its angle of attack." 

"Get it? Are you stupid? Surely you can see this!”

She arose from her bed and immediately declared her desire to become the master’s apprentice. She studied faithfully and in time became known for her dexterity of mind and heart.

Eventually Yin Li became a highly sought after teacher. Even the district governor called upon her skills for the most difficult of negotiations, admiring her ability to readily neutralize the most stubborn and obstinate opponents.

When she died, people came from over one hundred miles away to pay their respects. After her death she became a local deity, and was from then on known as Li Shui Feng, keeper of wind and water wisdom.

-- Mark Walter